Doing this surprisingly helped me grow
Unhinged stories of younger Daniel
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If we can all have an honest admission, it’s that growth isn’t always pretty. The older I get, I see life more and more as non-linear. As much as I’d love a nice, pretty path forward, I find life is anything but. Here’s a truth no one tells you: you often have to live out your worst moments before you can outgrow them.
For me, maturity didn’t arrive with a perfectly timed aha moment, to my parents’ dismay. It often came in the form of cringe-worthy decisions, bad habits, and a lot of looking back and thinking, “Wow… I really did that?”
Here are a few of the ways I had to let my immaturity run its course, and what I learned once I finally faced it.
1. Being the Out-of-Pocket, Shameless Guy
I used to be that person: the one who said the thing no one else would (but arguably was thinking) and usually at the worst time. I still give in to this habit more than I’d like to. I wore “shameless” like a badge of honor, thinking it made me bold or funny. I mean sometimes it was funny. But over time, I realized it mostly made people uncomfortable. It was a mask for insecurity. If I could shock or amuse people, maybe they wouldn’t see how lost I really felt.
Growth came when I stopped needing attention to feel seen, and started listening more than I spoke.
2. Chasing the Bag (and Nothing Else)
There was a season where all I cared about was the money. I wasn’t even sure what I wanted to do with it. I just wanted the validation that came with success. I measured my worth in numbers, promotions, and accomplishments. But that grind comes with a price: burnout, emptiness, and relationships that feel more transactional than real.
Eventually, I had to ask myself: What’s the point of securing the bag if you’re too tired or alone to enjoy it?
3. Rejecting Others Before They Could Reject Me
This one was sneaky. I would subconsciously pull away from people anytime I sniffed or perceived rejection.
I’d act indifferent, detached, sometimes even cold. I told myself I didn’t care, that I was just “protecting my peace,” but really? I was scared of being unwanted.
Turns out, pushing people away before they can hurt you doesn’t keep you safe, it just keeps you isolated.
It took time living in this behavior over and over to see the harm and risks (and some courageous friendships). In the end I’m more self-aware than I’ve ever been of my tendencies. More importantly, I have the jump on how to best address this fear of rejection whenever it rears its head.
The truth is, we grow by doing it wrong first. Leaning into my unhealthy, cringe-y habits was actually Entrepreneurship 101 in experiencing and responding to failure. I’ve learned you can’t avoid failure if you want to be good at something, whether it’s entrepreneurship or just being a good human.
By stumbling through our own immaturity and deciding not to stay there, we find exponential, endless growth.
If you’re in that place right now - stumbling, figuring it out - you’re in the perfect place. That’s part of the process. You’re exactly where you need to be.
Give yourself the grace to be human, and the courage to do better next time.
You’re not alone in this.
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All the best,
Daniel