The unexpected evolution of my responses to “let’s hop on a call”
and what I do now
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Over the last two years, the LA in Common IG has received all sorts of DMs. Inquiries to collab. Invitations to events. Questions about using their community platform.
99% of these messages included some invitation to “hop on a call”.
Most sane people would be take time to consider whether it was worth it, much less see if they had the bandwidth.
And like the psychopath I am, I would find a way to hop on that call.
(I am disgusted by my own lack of boundaries for my schedule back then lololol)
I thought that’s what helpful, generous, available people do. And I wanted to be all of those things. Instead of driving value for my business, here’s what happened instead:
I got burnt out. Resentful. Stretched way too thin. And honestly, I had very few results to show for it. Very unfortunate.
Eventually, I had to ask myself: What am I optimizing for?
Being liked? Being available? Or being impactful, present, and clear about how I show up?
Here are a few hard truths that came from that time of no boundaries:
Most calls are duds - you have to be strategic in who you give your time to. And to do this, it requires having a strategy in the first place. Get really clear on your strategy so you know how to spend your time.
When you’re always available, people naturally assign a lower value to your time. Don’t be busy for the sake of being busy but also, be intentional with who you give your time to.
So now, when someone asks to hop on a call, my thought to “Let’s hop on a call?” is why.
If it’s a genuine collaboration, aligned opportunity, or someone who’s invested energy into this community, absolutely. Let’s go deep, let’s riff, let’s build. That’s my favorite kind of call.
But if it the request is vague or is giving “I’m here to consume and use you”, then I kindly respond with the following:
“Hey! Would love to hear more. Could you send over a bit of context or a quick note on what you’re hoping to explore? That way I can give this real thought and figure out the best way to support. [insert my email here]”
This message tends to weed out the people who copy and paste and have very little context for LA in Common. And it’s saved me dozens of hours of dud calls. More than that, it’s saved my energy. When we show we value our own time, it gives others permission to value theirs too.
I’m sharing this because, chances are, you’re like me. You care about people, community, and relationships, in general.
I’m here to remind you that your time is sacred. And your best energy deserves to go to the people and projects that matter most.
So if no one’s told you this lately, hear it from me:
You’re allowed to set boundaries.
You’re allowed to ask for context.
And you’re allowed to protect your time without apologizing for it.
Here’s to more intentional conversations, and less calendar noise.
If you’re newer here, LA in Common is a community of the best people you know in LA. Hopefully this newsletter gives you a glimpse of what we’re building. If you’re looking to plug into a community of highly motivated yet absolutely genuine people - this is it. Reply ‘interested’ and I’ll share next steps for how to get involved.
And as always, let me know the latest in your life and I’ll respond. I read every reply.
Let’s keep going,
Daniel