your friend group is doomed if it has this many people
Plus, the ideal number of friends you should have in your friend group
The ideal number of friends for a friend group varies for everybody. If you have too few friends you don’t really have a friend group (i.e. two people). If you have too many friends you lose out on meaningful interactions and you might even mute the group chat.
You might be thinking, “well duh, three people to a friend group is perfect then”. Eh, I wouldn’t say so. That number of friends comes with its own complexity (I explain this further down) and might even be the deadliest number.
Friendships are important and that’s why you need to have the ideal number of friends in your crew. Here are the deadliest numbers to avoid if you want a thriving friend group:
The 2 Friend Wrecking Crew
This one is kind of obvious because, well, two isn’t really considered a group in the first place. But the less obvious reasons are that the two friend dynamic kind of becomes insular and incestuous. Neither of ya’ll really venture out beyond hanging out with one another and, when you do, it feels foreign. Then you go right back to hanging out with one another. Codependency sets in and we all know what that leads to. Or ya’ll just get bored of each other, stop hanging out altogether, and then both of ya’ll have zero friends.
Anything > 8 people
I’m convinced a friend group cannot have any meaningful interaction past 8 friends. There are way too many personalities to manage and sub-sects of friends form - at that point, you might as well shrink the friend group to a smaller number.
Anything more than 8 friends also becomes a logistical nightmare. Ideas for hangouts remain as ideas, nothing more. Day trips become day dreams and plans for a night out quickly become polls that end in ties.
Ah, 3 people, that must be it.
Wrong. 3 people to a friend group might be the worst of all the deadly numbers.
If one friend can’t hang, then you have your deadly group of two. To remind you, the remaining two friends will hang out and eventually get bored of each other. Or become utterly codependent.
Then, for some reason, every friend group of three succumbs to the same fate: two friends always exclude the third. Things get ugly, one person always misses out on the hangs, feelings get hurt, and the friend group implodes. Bye bye friend group.
As a side note, I’m pretty sure friend group implosion in Los Angeles occurs every hour. Lots of deadly numbers of friend groups (and mental health and trauma. Sorry, dark humor).
The ultimate friend group solution
The solution? It’s easy - add a fourth friend. When you have a fourth friend, you can hold everyone accountable to inclusion and showing up to hangouts. You won’t form as much favoritism, you’ll simply have different and nuanced friendships with each person.
Four people to a friend group is large enough to feel like an actual group and small enough to move fast on hangouts. Trips actually make it out of the group chat. Hangouts actually come to life. You don’t have to mute the group chat because too many people are blowing it up.
Final thoughts
The ideal number of friends to a friend group varies for everybody. If you noticed your friend group has any of the symptoms I mentioned, you should consider adding a friend or grouping off into smaller numbers. Maybe keep the large group chat and focus on groups of four or five.
Healthy friendships with consistent communication and fun hangs are integral to enjoying life. Find your ideal number of friends and hang away.